A Quick Way to Dissolve Anger & Agitation

We all know those times when it feels like anger and agitation are bubbling out of us…


When we’re out in public and people are taking FOREVER to pack up their groceries…


When you’re at work or at home and other people’s ideas are absolutely ridiculous...


When you’re envisioning yourself hitting everything with pillows or baseball bats…

Don’t fib… we’ve all been there ūüėČ


I’ve been there too and honestly, I cringe to think that I’m sometimes like that.


And where does it come from?


Like really…why am I so agitated? and where is it really getting me? What am I trying to control? Does being agitated really help anything OR is it actually making my health and others health worse?


A meditation class I attended last night explained that emotions such as agitation, anger and restlessness are often signs that we’re doing too much self-cherishing.


What is self-cherishing?

Self-cherishing is when we put our our needs and our own happiness ahead of others. 


Eeeek. How often do you think we do this?


Answer: A LOT


Ask yourself this… when you’re wanting to get out of the grocery store quicker, are you putting others needs or your own needs first? …Why is¬†it more important for you to get done quickly versus others?


How about when someone is complaining or venting and we’re getting impatient? What about in your romantic relationships…are you often wanting things to be a certain way mostly for yourself? Are we ever putting ourselves in their shoes and seeing their perspectives and/or their challenges?


So what’s an alternative?

A very healthy and easing alternative is to decrease our self-cherishing and begin looking at all beings needs and happiness as equal. 


To effectively change your perspectives when you’re becoming agitated in public say to yourself kindly…

“This persons’ needs and happiness are more important than my own right now.”


Further, ask yourself:

“How can I help meet this persons’ needs and happiness?”



What you’ll often notice is that your agitation and impatience dissolves.


When we shift attention away from ourselves and begin cherishing and focusing on others…our actions and intentions become much more virtuous.¬†


I know some of you wonder, “but what if I get exhausted by meeting others needs?” or “how does using this help me?”


Just try it.


Notice if you, yourself become happier and more at peace when you put others first with compassion and patience.


It doesn’t mean we have to exhaust ourselves to do things for others and it doesn’t mean we put up with others abuse or unhealthy situations for ourselves…it simply means we bring a perspective of love and kindness to whom and what we’re dealing with.

Some quotes to help with this concept:

“All sufferings, obstacles, misfortunes and undesirable things come from the self-cherishing thought, from cherishing the I.” –¬†Lama Zopa Rinpoche


“We are just one person among countless living beings, and a few moments of unpleasant feeling arising in the mind of just one person is no great catastrophe.” –¬†Geshe Kelsang


“Whenever you experience unhappiness or depression in daily life, this is caused by the ego, the self-cherishing thought. Any obstacle to practicing Dharma or even to achieving happiness and success in this life is caused by the ego. The number of times you have suffered due to relationship problems, one after another, on and on, is all totally due to the ego. Attachment and desire arise due to the self-cherishing thought, and this creates suffering, confusion and relationship problems.” –¬†Lama Zopa Rinpoche


“Love others as you would love yourself, judge others as you would judge yourself, cherish others as you would cherish yourself. When you wish for others as you wish for yourself and when you protect others as you would protect yourself, that’s when you can say it’s true love.” – Confucius


Enjoy your day,


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