Dark emotions are not "bad" - what dark emotions could be telling you
I've always felt emotions very strong and for much of my life, I've disliked this part about myself.
I remember in high school and university, I would look around and think, how is everyone else enjoying things so easily?
How are they socializing and maintaining relationships in a way that seems effortless?
This would really bother me and for awhile, I would try to be like them and deny my actual state.
It took a few years to realize the hard truth that denying your feelings and your natural state of being DOES NOT WORK.
It was almost like, the more I would try to deny my authentic self or to be like others, the more I'd go down a path not actually meant for me ... which ultimately leads to more pain.
The more reading on depression and spirituality I do, the more understanding and comfort I feel.
One of my favourite books on my shelf is 'Healing Through the Dark Emotions' by Miriam Greenspan.
She talks about how our culture is emotion-phobic and that often, the dark emotions of sadness, fear, anger, grief and guilt are viewed as weak and shameful.
When we're kids, we're often told not to be sad or we're told to "toughen up!". At work, it's looked at as weak when we feel or break down or show any emotion related to stress or sad truths.
In the past, I've had people laugh at me because I'm sensitive and feel a lot... ... this really didn't help the guilt, shame and embarrassment I already felt.
Healing Through the Dark Emotions explains that we have to embrace and feel the dark emotions otherwise, they can become toxic.
When we numb or deny the dark emotions, this is when, over time, they can grow into greater states of depression, anxiety, addiction, abuse and/or violence.
Other books that have helped me understand the dark emotions and have provided a sense of a shared experience include 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle , 'From Tears to Triumph' by @mariannewilliamson and an e-book called 'Darkness before Dawn' that I got through @Sounds True.
This e-book describes how states of depression and grief are often messages from our spirit or soul.
The book explains that when we feel dark emotions, it's often because of incongruencies with how we're living, how we actually feel about things, etc. They describe depression as more of a spiritual calling versus a diagnosable, white coat "illness" (where I could also get into the problems with the DSM-5 (manual for psychiatric diagnoses).
These books also touch on how our dark emotions are connected to larger global currents and society as a whole. We are not solo beings on solo journeys. We are all connected and as a whole, the world struggles and this lives within each person.
Another origin of our dark emotions is the concept of "generational depression" and how struggles and lived experiences of our ancestors get passed down to us. This makes sense then as to why depression, anxiety, addiction problems are often seen across generations...which is also part of the DNA vs. environment debate (is it passed through genes or is it passed through environment?)...and/or could struggles and wounds be passed down through energy and through the spirit and the soul?
Over time, I've learned to not be afraid of the dark emotions. Dark emotions are our teachers and our guides and one can learn an immense amount through feeling and embracing them.
If you feel like you're one that feels and experiences these dark emotions more frequently than others, or recently, you've been experiencing them more...
a) You could be one that experiences emotions more strongly than others (like me)
b) You could be carrying around wounds from your ancestors and lineage - a call for you to explore inner work and healing.
c) Your dark emotions could be messages from your spirit/soul as to what might not be aligned in your life.
There's so much to our darker more challenging emotions than them just being uncomfortable and undesirable - dark emotions can reflect a door that's encouraging you onto a journey of change, healing and re-alignment.
Need help with this inner work?
It would be my pleasure <3
You can check out what working together looks like here.