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When you feel like you're "too much"

From the time I was a teenager, a belief and story was starting to form within me...⁣

that I was...⁣

"too much"⁣

too sensitive,⁣

too emotional⁣

thinking too much⁣

needing to voice my thoughts too much⁣

...⁣

and not enough _______.⁣

If I wasn't as "much" and I was just "less muted" then I would be easier to deal with.⁣

For 8 years, I escaped into relationships to find comfort.⁣

Until I realized...⁣

they weren't giving me the comfort, love and healing my heart truly needed... ⁣

and often the same repeating story would occur of feeling misunderstood and again, "too much".⁣

I was forced to begin looking at myself...⁣

on my own 😬⁣

A tough four years was spent being single, ⁣

where I spent much of it learning, healing and practicing finding greater love, peace and comfort within myself. ⁣

and to learn that no, I wasn't "too much" of anything.⁣

An astrologer and energy healer once told me in regards to relationships,⁣

"You don't need to feel completely understood by someone"⁣

"You're really complex, conceptual and analytical with a lot of emotion mixed in as well"⁣

(Best description of me I've heard lol)⁣

"Try to let go of needing to be understood. Just love, laugh and have fun"⁣

Honestly it was a relief to hear.⁣

"I don't need to be understood - phew" 😂 cause that was appearing to be a struggle.⁣

I started relying on myself and Spirit more... ⁣

for validation, for love, for healing, for comfort, and to voice and sort out thoughts & emotions and problems.⁣

For me, these are the places that have the most solid source of love, guidance and support, ⁣

and if you can nourish and practice finding this place within you...⁣

then you always have it.⁣

Just this week, I was re-reminded of this. ⁣

I was trying to explain my perspective on something... ⁣

(with all the emotions and different analytical angles...⁣

and was met with...⁣

not the response I was looking for 😂 (sigh)⁣

who's been there before? 🙋🏼⁣

It started to bring up old feelings and old stories...⁣

Until I remembered...⁣

we don't need our partners to be the providers of everything within us and to feed us the responses WE want. ⁣

Woah.⁣

In that moment, I had to practice radical acceptance, discussing with no expectations, listening...⁣

but then the most crucial things that need to happen as well...⁣

Get quiet,⁣

Reconnect to love within and above,⁣

Work through challenges and differences with energy release work and healing inner child work...⁣

And then receive love, validation and comfort from Source - because that is always there and it's guaranteed. ⁣

Ultimately, we don't live in a world where everyone acts and thinks the way WE want them to.⁣

This is why it's so important to have our own reservoir of love, peace and understanding within 🧡⁣


xx Shawna


________


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